It's Friday. Sex?
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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