He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
