Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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