how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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