It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
