im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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