Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
