Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
