Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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