Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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