I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
