u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
