if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
