So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
So much Jack, so little girl.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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