The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Randomize
