drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
