I'm eating all of the evidence.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
