I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
