My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
