I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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