Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
