She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
