thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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