The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize