omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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