my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
