he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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