You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
