I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
