so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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