remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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