chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
