Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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