My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
