I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
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