five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
