the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
