As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
