clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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