On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
