Me too!
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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