I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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