btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
