WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Randomize
