I'm eating all of the evidence.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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