my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
