just come out here and I will go home with you...
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
