I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
