apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
