How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
