I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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