You made me cry and you don't even care
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
