U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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