i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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