32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize