my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize