6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
