i just had sex bonerless
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
