he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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