we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Randomize
