Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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