The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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