he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize