The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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