two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
