i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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