Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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