hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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