A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
