he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
